Reflections from 1/2 a vet Permalink |
I am officially half way through this journey and thought it might be a good time to reflect on where I’ve been, where I’m going, and what I think it all means.
At this point, it is difficult to separate school from life in general, because school has become my life. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just an observation. While I am certainly currently enjoying the respite from having to study every night and most weekends, I think that vet school, in general, has been very good for me. I have a hard time staying focused on things for any length of time, and vet school does that for me. By the time I graduate, becoming a vet will have been a 7-year commitment to education. I do not feel the time could have been better spent. Sure, I could have been making money rather than going into debt, but in the end we all know that real accomplishment is not achieved without sacrifice and hard work. And I have certainly had my share of both.
Has anything changed since that first lecture of vet school almost two years ago? Certainly things have changed. My enthusiasm back then was fueled by the fact that, after years of mental stagnentation , I was entering into unknown territory where I was finally going to get the mental and spititual challenges I needed. Today, fortunately, I am still enthusiastic, but the enthusiasm is of a different sort. It stems from the fact that veterinary medicine has turned out to be all I had hoped it would be, and more. There are far more opportunities with a veterinary degree than I had ever realized. And in my search for what I’d like to do when I graduate, I have come to realize that it is really a discovery of what I don’t want to do when I graduate. Little by little, as I check off things that don’t excite me (lab research, government work, large scale production animal medicine), I am excited to discover that there are still plenty of possibilities that do excite me.
I have to admit that another thing that has changed in the past two years has been my self-confidence. When I started vet school, I was of the firm opinion that with hard work, dillegence, and commitment, one could excel in vet school. Unfortunately, as I stated one time during a particularly challenging week of tests earlier this school year, “vet school done wacked the smart right outa me.” Whether it is because my brain just isn’t aging gracefully, or because the volume of information thrown at us is impossible for me to keep up with, I now have a pretty hopeless attitude with respect to my confidence in performing well on tests. I’ve tried various study strategies, note-taking strategies, and the like, but have not found anything that works. About the only consolation I have in this respect is that I’m not alone. A number of my classmates have commented that they’ve never studied so much and have so little to show for it. So maybe it’s not just me. But that fact that there are some students who do get perfect scores on tests keeps me wondering what it going wrong.
The second year also seemed to be a turning point as far as expectations of what we are to get out of classes. Unlike in the first year, which was heavy with core science courses of seemingly unrelated material, courses in the second year start to bring this seemingly unrelated material together. And as the second year unfolds, that consolidation is increasingly peppered with comments such as “you’ll need to know this for boards” (i.e. the national veterinary board exams we take in the fourth year) and “I’m not going to test you on this now, but you’d better know it when I ask you about it during rotations in your fourth year.” In short, we not only have to know this stuff for tests, but we have to know it for life!
And to reinforce the fact that we are now expected to start thinking like doctors, during the last week of school we had a meeting where we were introduced to the procedures for selecting our rotations and externships for our fourth year. By the time we head back to classes in September, we have to have our fourth year all planned out. Yikes!
From a personal perspective, the last two years have had their challenges as well. The Twin Cities are a decent place to live, but I can’t help but miss the mountains and the ocean and living in the woods where you can’t see your neighbors but you know they are there should you need their help. We still haven’t sold our house in Maine - not for a lack of trying, but for a lack of buying. And as such, trying to make ends meet is always a challenge. But we’re still better off than a lot of people out there, and the future is promising, so I’m able to sleep at night.
Would I do it over again if I knew what I know today? Yes, I think so. It was hard to leave our friends in Maine, and I still remember the sinking feeling I felt in my stomach when I watched the last of our llamas being driven away. But I have to think that life is a long, wonderful journey and that by taking the path I have, I’ve ensured a most pleasant journey to come.
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